As school ended in early June the financial chaos of the school district where I work scattered teachers to other buildings to fill in for retirements rather than lose positions. We expected it...I guess I was buckled and ready for the ride if it came. It has come. After 5 years teaching in an urban school among a classroom full of a wonderful rainbow of tans, chocolates, mochas and brown faces where my own pale drab stands out....I am being placed a grade lower at the other end of the academic and socioeconomic spectrum across town. Tears dripped from the farewells of my deepest soul all to myself as I sat amid boxes of personal things in my cleaned out room where a day before hugs and autographs ended our year. Most other teachers were gone, the building hot and quiet. I locked the door of DO104 one last time and packed my car. No more a Southside teacher. What was I now?
The summer is my buffer between what was and what will be. A new granddaughter and a couple masters classes, a week at the beach will all help direct me to the newer me. But I'm a little lost.
Hopefully the time to garden, weed, water, listen to the birds and count the kinds of butterflies this year will slow me down enough to still the threat of fear that I won't be able to rise to the new occasion., to tackle the new mountain.
Is there advice to be had from those of you going /gone through a similar switch in the game? I need a bit of help in this buffer season when the thoughts of Fall drift in on a cloud. I'll be watching to see what you have to offer....in between marking down the butterflies.
2 comments:
Myra,
You've said it so well. This summer is a "buffer season" for me, too. I switch from a reading interventionist to the classroom I've always wanted. But as excited as that makes me, it's terrifying as well. Everyone is so confident that I'll be great - but will I be?
I can look back, however and see God's hand in leading me here and that's where I find my comfort - if HE led me here, HE will not leave me alone here. He wants me here, He will give me what I need and He will bless this opportunity!
Just like you. God wants you in a new place, Myra. You have done well with what he gave you and now he wants to bless you with more, with something new. This is God's work and in that hold comfort that it will not only be okay, it will be WONDERFUL and BLESSED and BEAUTIFUL!
Oh, my sweet sister, I know this is not necessarily what you want, but that doesn't mean it's not what's best for you. Rarely do I initially see why God brings big changes into my life, but it's always for my best and He's always in control. I know He has amazing things in store for you, and I know it is all part of His plan. Kids are kids, and no matter where they are, they all need a teacher who will love and care about them the way you will. Maybe these new kids need you more than you can imagine. I think the next year will have its challenges, but it will have great blessings as well. You'll be fine, and you'll do great. And hey, we both get to teach the same grade this year, even if I only have one student :) Love you!
Post a Comment