Surprises. I don't like them. Snowflakes in October. The principal in my room. My period 3 days early. None of that. I've really disliked that on-the-spot anxiety that rises from being the center of attention at a surprise party thrown for you. And then there are the big life-changing ones. Whatever they are, I guess I don't like surprises at all.


I wonder if anyone does.


I prefer to be in control.


In my life, God has been gracious with the severity of surprises. I certainly haven't had to handle surprise illness like one of my dear friends. Or the surprise loss of a job like my husband and many other acquaintances. But when I look at the surprises God has allowed, I do see His presence holding my hand in each one...reminding me He is near, "breathe and grow" seeping from His Lips to my ears.

OK, Lord, I am breathing. Help me grow.

Am I normal? And what IS normal?

September is half over and I'm back in the furious routine that all my spare weekly moments are all about school prep and correcting papers! I really need to change this! How? I need some advice from my teacher friends. What do you do that keeps your own outside-of-school personality alive?

My new Thursdsay night Dinner and Deeper group at my house is very special, so that really helps. What else can I do? Have I mentioned I never seem to get caught up with school filing or housework during the week? Am I normal or inept? I'm excited to hear from YOU!

Starting a New School Year

I listened to her giggle during this afterschool voluntary task helping some other students put books on my library shelves. It's a new year and some jobs in setting up my classroom I have saved for student volunteers. A favorite student from last year joined us and we all melted into the comraderie of the task.

I just don't feel as connected to my new students as to my old favorites. I want to, but it takes time. Today all I feel is exhausted from all the copying and checking off updated class lists and teaching an unbonded pack of 21 distinct personalities jockeying for attention.

But this new girl's happy giggle puts me at ease and pulls me close to my new students. In time I will know some of their stories, what they like, who lives with Grandma instead of Mom, who usually packs lunch like me, how to avoid some of the anger landmines of those with short fuses, which ones are hungry for hugs (well, ok, I know those already!)

It's just a new year. A new batch of unfamiliar faces. But that giggle makes me hopeful. The smile that it coaxes from my weary spirit just now tugs me toward a new bond. I already know all their first names. Tomorrow I will try to make each one smile a genuine eye-to-eye connections smile. Then I'm hooked. Perhaps this giggle is just what I needed today.

What You Learn on A Road Trip

Well, you must account for the huge Hudson Bay if you want to REALLY drive to the North Pole. We didn't, so we didn't. But not speaking French and travelling 4 days into Quebec to Lac Saint Jeanne was enough of an adventure for us, and the one among us who wanted to take this road trip in the first place was ready to return to the American side of the Saint Lawrence Seaway and into New England by midweek. (By the way, I never knew there were so many saints! Practically every little town and river in Quebec held the name of an honored saint...whew!)

It's challenging being cooped up in a single vehicle in a country where neither of you speak the languange and you handle stressful situations very differently. How would you handle having to drive back 1 and a half hours in the rain upon arriving at the Canada border because your wife just realized (when she went to take a pic of the border crossing) that she forgot the camera in that cute Adarondack Pizza shop where you ate dinner?

How might you handle beign stuck in the middle of nowhere sandwiched between a raging river and a mountainside where they are doing road construction with nothing to eat and having to pee among a long line of truckers (oh and did I say we couldn't speak the language?)

How about your wife choosing a French phrase book that is absolutely no help because it's written for people who speak FRENCH trying to learn English and not the other way around?

How about having your favorite credit card frozen for the rest of the trip because you couldn't read what it was asking you to do THREE TIMES at the Canadian gas station self-serve pump?

To say that it tests one's best relationships to take this kind of trip together is the worst of it.

The best of it was the new love we have for our own New England (where we can understand signs and directions and it IS VERY BEAUTIFUL!) It was also awesome sharing snacks we never eat, trying to navigate through a city in the middle of night, seeing a mother moose and her twins, holding hands in Cooperstown after really enjoying the Baseball Hall of Fame....and hiking to waterfalls on a weekday when most of the rest of the world was at work.

I failed miserably at keeping a calm head and being a sweet spirit through every tense moment...but I came back knowing this man I love better and realizing I made a really good choice 28 years ago next month when we exchanged vows and promised that we'd be there through all these better or worsts. He loves me warts and all, moods and all, things I forget and all (did I mention I left my favorite beanie pillow I love for my neck at a hotel in Montreal the very next morning? We didn't go back for that :( ..... I guess he's hoping I learn something from all this forgetting.)

Well, that's about all I can tell you about driving to the North Pole. We didn't. But it was still fun.

"Can you drive to the North Pole?"

This question started the little road trip I'm on today.

I write this from a hotel room in upstate New York on our way from the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown (a very quaint and worthwhile trip, even for ladies!) to points north unknown!

When I got back from a recent trip to Alaska I found out my husband finally had happen to him what he had been anticipating for awhile. In an effort to prune the extra departments from the bank to make it more marketable on the selling block, the bank where he had kept his leasing/lending department profitable for 23 years decided he was done. And so he is. He banters the word "retirement" around, just for fun.

I love this man. He has stretched me and made me laugh for nearly 30 years now...and in this little summer season he needs me to understand, to travel, to listen, and to just be. Hard things for me, all of them. But because I ABSOLUTELY believe that not one thing happens to me that hasn't been okayed by my heavenly Father, I know this is for my growing. I am being made into the image of His dear Son.

So much work for God to do while I walk this earth. So much sanding, pruning, polishing. So I receive this with a smile, and consider it an adventure. It is.

I don't think you can quite drive to the North Pole. But I'm pretty sure Canada is within reach. I'll let you know what we see and learn. Did I mention we had to drive back 2 hours to get one of our passports? All kinds of opportunities for growing on this trip!

Organizing and Parting With

Today's the day. I'd promised myself THIS summer I'd go
through every cupboard in my kitchen, well all through the house is my true goal,and organize and purge. But you have to start somewhere. Today I've been in the kitchen.

Sorting out Tupperware lids and matching and purging those wasn't such a chore. But then came the dishes. See, I'm kind of a sucker for a one-of-a-kind, on-the-clearance-rack-at-Pottery-Barn-or-an-estate-sale dish or bowl that has a personality that smiles at me. And right now there are a lot of mismatched smiles trying to win me over to avoid the Yard Sale box.

I get side-tracked easily, too. Especially when I have to find another box or wash up old glassware or (yuk!) de-grease the microwave hood. I've steeled myself toward this task of saying goodbye to old dish friends and the memories of other days when lounging over lunch with friends justified having such cute little couples of this dish and that little bowl. Sigh. I'm in a sadly different season and though I always intend to pick up the phone and get some girls together for lunch, I find myself doing summer chores instead....like this purging and parting.

Oh well, maybe when I have my yard sale some younger version of me will be delighted to find a little treasure. She'll never have my memories. Those stay here--they were too good and went away too soon. I know I'll be thinking as I pack these away about the little Bible study times with our toddlers around our feet, the sweet luncheons trying new recipes, the special women who have graced my table over the years and enjoyed those dishes with me. Such blessings!

Oh bother, I see the box I came up here for...so it's back to packing. I'm thinking of friends like you as I organize. Shouldn't we have lunch soon?

Mailing a Rock, you say?

I got my long-awaited Alaskan river rock in the mail today. The mail lady didn't ask any questions, just handed over the heavy package. How could she know?

I had stared longingly at those round marbles for miles and days as I toured the Yukon territory and Skagway, Alaska. I had envisioned just picking a special one and bringing it home!

What kind of friend won't look at you with squinty eyes that convey, "Are you serious?" when you make a request first to search for a very specific heavy rock out along a flowing river, let alone agree to pack and mail it to you? (Well, since you know me and haven't removed yourselves from association with me knowing this isn't that odd for me, probably a couple of you sweet friends.) But when I got my box today, tucked in alongside it was the monogrammed towel this friend had prepared for my Alaskan visit...and a few special treats (Vanilla Chai teabags and Rolos!) I hope you get to be as blessed as I have been by this friendship by someone in your life who just does things you might like because they've taken the time to know you.

My rock is going in a special place by my pond. Right near a rock other friends brought me from Wyoming (and they carried theirs on the plane--probably smiling at their wacky friend who'd love it!) I'll be reminded by both rocks of special times, special people...and my own need to just smile at the wacky ideas that make other people happy...and jump in.

Thank you, Lucrecia!