I am a serious and sober-mindedly bent person. And because of it, I've always been mindful of protocul and decorum...and equally drawn to those who can let fly in the face of it.Weddings should be meaningful. And happy.Pastor Suler said at R and P's that it "should not be entered into lightly or unadvisedly." I agree. Theirs wasn't. But look into their faces here. They also know it will take some lightheartedness. It took me about 15 years into my own marriage to start to grasp that!If you were part of their wedding day, you know they have mountains in front of them, like many newlyweds. A baby soon. New jobs. A cozy apartment. Trying to find a new church congregation that will embrace them and be their heart family. I pray. And I smile. God is good. SOOOO GOOOOD. He will be there in it. That's enough.
Christmas is over. And though I find it easy to strip my house of the red and green by the afternoon of January 1, the pretty white twinkly lights tug at my heart and seem "appropriate" for long winter nights even through the romantic Valentines days of mid February. See, I am drawn to the excitement of the next, new season (which pushes me to get old season things packed away to make room for new), but my nostalgic self clings to the certain pretty parts of seasons passing that make it hard to take down, wrap up and close the box lid .
My only daughter got married last weekend. She and her new husband are very in love and though, like all of us, they likely have struggles ahead , I have a confidence in their faith and the way they stare into each others' souls that this is a sweet, uncommon match.
I'm finding scattered amidst Christmas things a lot of old photographs she was sorting through to prepare a slide show for the wdding. They stop me from this cleaning up and I find in them the crux of my dilemma...how can the new season of Empty Nest, We-Can-Do-Anything-We-Want-Now compare to the rich days of crooked lost-tooth smiles? Those days are gone. Done. Box closed. No matter if I wanted to linger in their twinkly lights for just a bit longer. (sigh) I loved being a mom. I knew how to do that.
As I stare at the stacked boxes in our bedroom, I remind myself there are many new wonderful unknowns ahead and I always feel better when the old is sorted and put out of sight. Dancing with my husband at her wedding I felt the stir of a new era and it was a great feeling of freedom. Maybe Hawaii together in 2011. Getting to know a grandchild. Finally finishing my Master's degree.
I guess when I get the boxes all to the attic the Spring will come eventually and my momentum toward this newness will take wings.
For now, I kept out one picture of a long haired three-year old sitting in the middle of a teddy bear collection...and I left the twinkly lights on the garage.
